Chapter 10
[EN]
"You can't compete with someone who is just doing what they love" – Part 1
◼️The more I meet people from all walks of life, the more I am convinced that comparison truly is the thief of joy. And, habitually, the more layers they uncover about someone, the more reasons they find to feel unsatisfied about their own current state. Amplified by the reach and selective algorithm on social media, that is a recipe for disaster.
It pains me to see so many young people hating and dreading work. Work is unquestionably a big part of life and, in my opinion, it shouldn’t be seen solely as a task to be ticked off out of a weekly to do list.
Call me a weirdo but I love working and it is because I see work in a positive light, that the rest fits into place. You are the only one who chooses how you want to look life in the eyes: is it as an endless agonising roundabout where you develop “FOMO” or is it as a blissful drive where the road isn't linear but may pleasantly surprise you?
To further delve into the first option let me share with you one of the studied possible causes for that fear of missing out.
Before the digital era this concept was inexistent. The anxiety associated with witnessing others surpassing or acquiring things that individuals cannot, became apparent in those who are not living up to their own standards/expectations or potential, therefore, they turned out to be more susceptible to experiencing "FOMO". Furthermore, if we want to get to the root of the problem I can give you one culprit --> the amygdala.
I won't bore you too much with scientific knowledge, but our limbic system is the one responsible for processing emotions. The amygdala activation is the primal brain region which plays a significant role in the development of anxiety, denoting that envy and resentment become more pronounced once the individuals mentioned above come across seemingly perfect lives on social media, and tap into their own discontentment. The amygdala's role is also directly related to memory and learning, and it's up to the individual to command and train it to regulate behavioural and physiological responses, rather than blaming others for their own shortcomings.
You may think: "That's easy to say but quite difficult to do". And I'm not here to counter that thought. In fact, I fully agree with that statement. Nonetheless, if I were you, I wouldn't ever proceed on the assumption created from the prerogative that those who are successful have it easy on that front. The difference is the actual persistence needed to continue to pursue their dreams.
To tell you a little more about myself, I've been "working" since I was 3-4 years old when I was discovered on the beach freshly moved back from Cape Verde to Portugal. Given that fact, I was the "vexing" classmate that would leave school early due to a casting, an audition, a commercial shoot, a studio voice-over recording or a catalogue session. Yet on my free time: swimming, ballet, church choir practices at the weekends, and a further development into mastering English filled my days.
I'm not going to tell you it was easily manageable, but I was building the foundation for what I wanted to achieve later in life - made possible by my parents' support and investment.
There are no 'overnight sensations' although the media loves to paint that picture to sell more newspapers and generate buzz around the idiosyncratic ideal. "Timing, perseverance and ten years of trying will eventually make you look like an overnight success". No one wants to read about how difficult and tiresome someone's journey to success was, what they want is a polemic piece of writing with a shocking factor so they can voice their opinion on it (regardless of its relevance).
'Health is the only real wealth'.
Finding what calms you down amidst the commotion and makes you feel grounded is crucial to anyone's inner and outer wellbeing. In my case, even though my interests are quite scattered they've always somehow congregated mainly in the arts department, which gave me a thread to pull and unravel.
I started proper education at "Queen Elizabeth School" where I learned both Portuguese and English as my mother tongues. My parents saw how the world was shifting in a specific direction due to the rapid rise of globalisation and decided to enrol me in an institution where I could build an international future. There, one of the main ways kids would learn new words and expressions was through collective singing. Musical education was provided, as well as, tennis, drama classes, creativity, maths, culture... Above all, it encouraged diversity and community wellness.
I still have vague memories regarding the musical education classes where we would be given wooden cylindrical blocks to learn how to identify the right rhythm of a musical piece, the 1st beat (which is paramount for dancers), and why songs are usually split into 8-beat sets.
For me, a life without music would be lifeless. Music has a particularity of bringing different emotions out into the open and enhancing my ability to feel them through a screen. I’ve noticed how piano makes me sentimental; Violin makes me nostalgic; Rock, hip-hop and rap make me energetic and ready to take on the world; Jazz is good for unwinding during the evenings; And so forth.
Each genre has its own colour and characteristics and they don’t need lyrics to come alive. One doesn't require to know how to read or speak either in order to understand what a song is conveying with its melodic composition, which I find peculiar.
Music has always been a big part of my life. I dare to say it is a source of comfort as humming was my first introduction to sound. Some say 'familiarity builds contempt', but one must take into consideration that there are songs that age like milk while others age like fine wine. And if I must, songs may be a metaphor for people here. Up to you how you want to interpret my words, dear readers.
One concert I cannot forget so soon was listening to Hans Zimmer's cinematic compilation. All the instruments coming together in a magical symphony to deliver such a thick-layered sound brought tears to my eyes and reminded me how grateful I was to be able to hear it live alongside my mom.
My parents’ influence is definitely felt in my music taste. Living in a house that features a big CD player at the centre of the living room and good stereo, is bound to be entertaining. Every year my family and I used to go to Spain for a skiing vacation, and on the way, we would always listen to U2. I can vouch that U2 + snow is quite an enjoyable sight 🚗🎶
If I spend one entire day without listening to a single song due to being busy with other commitments, I can immediately feel how I am not as cheerful as my usual self. When I’m in a flow of creation [transforming nothing into something], music often inspires me and directly impacts in which direction I allow my mind to wander.
There are days where I can't silence the idea creation self-brainstorming, and those instances come at random during the day or in the early morning. My creativity booms in the most unexpected moments, so to cope with that, I have hundreds of random voice notes on my phones, since I record them as soon as the idea starts to be formed. Previously I made the mistake of falling asleep thinking I would remember the phrase, melody, or lyrics once I woke up the next day, so a quick amend to that lapse of judgement on my end was swiftly needed.
Society keeps trying to enforce the thought that we must already be good at whatever we want to achieve in life in order to make that dream a reality, but I entrench that no one is born already knowing. Practice makes perfect.
'The size of your dreams must always exceed your current capacity to achieve them'. Building specific knowledge will look like work and a hassle to others, but will feel like stimulating play to you. That's when you know you're on the right track. Maybe this is where my self-proclaimed "Asian mindset" gains traction, but if you feel you're not there yet --> that is a good thing! Have a vision of life that inspires you, then try every day to grow closer to the fulfilment of that vision. Having room to keep growing and keep putting in the hours into becoming better is necessary to enter an ever-improving state of self-enhancement. The worst sentiment is feeling like you've stagnated or hit a slump where you don't see a staircase past the door. If you relate to that > yet conform to it < you need bigger dreams.
Music can bring joy, but it can also bring sorrow. Just like life. If you choose the kind of songs you add to your playlist, why can't you choose the situations you put yourself through or how you want to let that affect you? The start is as simple as not clicking on a button... Something to think about.◻️
