Chapter 6

[EN]

Credibility vs Trust

"Everything can be learnt, even by making mistakes" -MC 2016

◼️There are very few things in life I don’t have patience for: one being limerence, another being prejudice – and in this chapter – I want to focus on gossiping. This week I’ve decided to bring you a topic that may be somewhat controversial, but it is in line with what I’ve been trying to impart through this project.

Every now and then there are particular occurrences that come to my attention, which just reinforces my perception of how much people love to generate idle talk. “This person told me x about you” or “That person is saying y did z” (and generally believe it without checking the source). Is this déjà vu from middle school? I wonder why some people never grow up, even though they were offered the same education and opportunities throughout life. It’s perplexing.

With all due respect to those who choose to spend their time in that way, but I couldn’t give a tinker’s dam (:

Allow me to be blunt for a second: I’d be a lunatic to think that all of those who follow me do so because they care, as that’s part of the nature of how social media was designed to be. Nowadays it serves as a means to either sell something, promote something or communicate something. Initially, Facebook decided to call “friends” to those who would accept an invitation to connect, but I’ve always known that I count on my hand who my real friends are; two hands if I’m really lucky. Those who can’t open their eyes to it, live under the illusion that the virtual life they’ve created is more real than it actually is, and once they grow and “mature”, they fall into a spiral of negativity and resentment towards themselves, that is ultimately projected upon others.

Are you familiar with the Karmic Law of cause and effect? According to this law, whatever thoughts and energy you put out into the world, you get back – good or bad. The karma theory considers not only the action itself, but also the person’s intentions, attitude, and hidden desires – before and during the action.

Spiralling it back to the Facebook analogy, the number of “friends” one would have used to be the determinant on whether that person would be seen worthy of getting to know or not. Some would have 1000+ or 2000+ or 5000+

In my opinion, taking that at anything more than face value is comparable to ‘thinking like an alien, it just ain’t realistic’. But for the sake of my argument, let’s pretend it is real for a swift minute.

Building all those relationships must be tiring and very time-consuming, even if they are all compressed in a WhatsApp group. Can you imagine having to repeat yourself to 1000 people whenever you have news to share or keeping track with what each is up to in life? And that is the most straight-forward scenario I could come up with out of the blue… If you chat for 1 min with each “friend” every day, that adds up to 1000+ minutes, which corresponds to approximately 17 hours. Even if we dial it down to 100, which is still far from being achievable, it means we would chat for 1 hour and 40 minutes, while only giving each a single 1’ of our time… Do you see where I’m going with this thought?

Exposing the raw painful reality of ego-enhancing external validation is not amusing to read. I am aware of that. No matter how, it is much more dangerous to choose to be obliviate.

I've heard people complementing me in how my thoughts have gotten ‘deeper’ ever since I became a university student. However, that is an incorrect assessment. It may come as a surprise but I've been working on this project for around 5 years now. It is not an epiphany I had one night, but rather a long-term patience exercise for further self-development and in the hopes of reaching a threshold, where my age would no longer be seen as inadequate for the kind of themes I wanted to discuss.

The reason I didn't share my voice in such an outspoken way before is simple: I would not have been taken seriously. As a 22-year-old girl, I knew that the age factor is oftentimes related to the credibility that people associate with increased trust. Even in this day and age, I am undividedly resolute that some don’t take me seriously and that is totally fine. This is not me saying "I know everything, follow my lead"; This is me saying "I have questions, let's find the answer together” and “If you want to join the team, the button is right there". It is an online shelter I created for mutual growth and my only ‘job’ is to spend a few hours a week gathering my notes and paraphrase them in the best way I know and can, to cater to a wide audience.

Allow me to also add that, although I believe it’s already been very explicit with my writing, my blog is not a place to foster hate with name-dropping and pettiness. If that is what you are looking for, or you’re scared I might drop yours, rest assured. A long time ago someone told me that one of the most precious things in life, which we must protect at all costs, is our privacy. Given the fact that it wouldn’t only affect my life, but others’ as well, and that is simply not part of my character either, it’s not my place to start the snowball effect. 'Less stormy drama, more dancing in the rain'.

I also get a lot of questions regarding how my memory is so fresh with events and details that occurred years ago. That is because I was fully present when they happened. I lived each phase, each moment consciously, therefore, I have each year stored in a mental cabinet which I can access at will. Another plausible reason for it, is the fact that I was never sleep-deprived, so I could function at full-capacity from an early age, and was receiving a balanced diet/nutritional plan to complement and feed the brain according to its needs. Physical exercise, such as taking up a sport (in which I include dancing), is also a big propulsor that assists healthy cell development and tissue regeneration. I don't smoke, I don't drink (apart from very specific social cues), I don't have the least bit of interest in unhealthy routines and my only "addictions" are: dark chocolate, enjoying my friends' company without distractions, music, and creative challenges.

In sum, those who try to define me on my behalf must enjoy looking for a needle in a haystack because I don't put myself in a box. I've heard I am a mystery. I've also heard my personality is as clear as water. And the truth lies somewhere in the middle. Pleased to make your acquaintance.◻️